10 Types of Self-Care
With the month of December looming before us, you may be thinking,
“Self-care,yeah, right. How do you fit in self-care during the holiday season?”
SO. MUCH. TO. DO!!!!
This is exactly why it is important to prioritize self-care during the holidays (and all year-round, for that matter).
You need to care for yourself to have the energy to do all everything you are trying to do.
You are not really “doing for others” if you show up exhausted, snappy, and treating everyone around you like they are a huge inconvenience.
If you run yourself ragged, you are likely to collapse when it becomes just too much, and that can create a burden on the very people you are trying to be there for.
Before we dive into this too much, I want to clear up some possible misconceptions about what self-care actually is, and what it’s not.
Many people seem to think that self-care is spa days and bubble baths and spending huge amounts of time and money on yourself.
Some think it is too self-focused, that it is selfish and causes people to become prideful and greedy.
If you are spending exorbitant amounts of money on indulgent things while needs are going unmet in your home, then perhaps, yes, you are out of balance with what you are calling self-care.
The majority of women I encounter are not doing this.
I tend to meet women who are afraid to be selfish. Stretched thin and pulled in many different directions, many women are so fearful of being thought of as selfish that they have legitimate personal needs going unmet.
Without systems set up to address personal needs, it’s easy to end up feeling like we are perpetually playing a game of whack-a-mole.
Many women need to have a little permission to take care of their own needs. We are not talking pedicures and shopping sprees. We are talking things like, going to the doctor. Getting 7 hours of sleep at night. Eating an actual lunch instead of grazing all day.
My definition of self-care is being intentional about prioritizing your holistic needs.
It is creating systems in your life to make sure we can keep functioning optimally.
It is doing what we need to do to show up for others and ourselves, too.
We can further divide self-care into different types. My perfectionists reading this may already be tempted to make charts to start tracking the types of self-care they engage in and make sure they are doing it “right” and getting the perfect balance.
Hear me loud and clear: There is no such thing.
The balance of these types of self-care are unique to each person; we all have different needs.
The balance of types of self-care also change over time.
When my kids were little, I needed to make sure I had time for an uninterrupted thought. Now that they are teens and young adults I need a way to be able to go to bed and not worry about them if they are out late.
10 Types of Self-Care
This is not an exhaustive list; you may think of some that I haven’t included. Feel free to email me and let me know!
These are just the ones that came to mind for me.
Physical
I am talking about sleep, hydration, exercise, eating what your body needs.
Consider what your body needs. How many of us cope with being tired by using coffee? (I am raising my hand, too! I have cut way back but if I didn’t get a good night’s sleep, it helps me function until I can restore good sleep habits). Self-care might be getting to bed early and trading coffee for tea, stretching, showering, or releasing tension from the body by meditation.
Emotional
Emotional self-care involves creating a system to express our emotions so we are not holding them in. Our emotions are important indicators that there is something going on that we need to pay attention to. But on the flip side, if we pay too much attention to our emotions we can feel overwhelmed. We need systems to address our emotions and also keep them in check. My go-to for this is journaling, but even just noticing and naming our emotions without writing them down can be helpful. Talking to a friend about our emotions can help us feel better.
Psychological
This is so very similar to emotional self-care, except it also captures being curious about our thoughts, motivations, and the ways we relate and respond to other people.
We might pursue psychological self-care by going to therapy, practicing mindfulness, deep breathing, taking time for solitude or time with people depending on your needs, doing things for others, and habit hacks to motivate yourself.
Relational
This one seems to be about others, but when we have good relationships our lives tend to be less stressful. We have an innate need for other people, for belonging. Relationships take time and effort.
I count spending time with a spouse or coffee with a friend as self-care. Even participation in bigger circles (extended family, church, clubs) as a way to pursue relational self-care. You are setting up a network of support. Maybe you do this as a way to be there for others, but then it is in place for others to be there for you when you need it.
Spiritual
Spirituality is immensely helpful to us because it helps us embrace a big-picture perspective. It enables us feel connected to something bigger than ourselves. For those who combine spirituality with faith practices, it provides inspiration and a belief system that can guide us though the discomfort of uncertainty and help us make meaning of hard times. Spiritual self-care can include time in nature, going to church, or prayer.
Occupational
This type of self-care speaks to the work/life balance.
Do you live to work or work to live? It is important to clarify our values on this so we can create clear boundaries between work and family. This goes both ways, depending on the person. It may be easy for one person to become a workaholic, and another person to blow off work to be at home.
Occupational self-care could include deciding not to bring work home, setting boundaries with co-workers around how quickly they can expect you to respond to emails, or setting boundaries with your family that they can’t come in your home office during certain hours unless they are bleeding or vomiting.
Environmental
People may not think much about this one, but taking the time to consider your environment can go a long way. Personally, I feel scattered when my house is messy.
If I can’t find things, then I can’t function well.
If my fridge is full of spoiled food, or my pantry is bare, I do not have what I need to prepare well-balanced meals for myself or my family.
Some people think of environmental self-care as the people in their environments. We may have life-contexts where we are surrounded by people who do not understand us. In those cases it is important to create some personal self-care practices to be ready to go into those environments and handle ourselves in a way that protects our hearts.
Financial
Yes, balancing your checkbook and sticking to your budget can be self-care!
It is addressing the resources you have at your disposal to be able to do the things you need to do.
Logistical
Logistics are part of our every day life. If we do not have ways to keep up with schedules, return phone calls, make plans to get us (and others in our families) to and from the places we need to be, it would be easy to feel scattered and miss out on things that need our attention.
Recreational
This one often overlaps with relational, but we still need to be intentional about making sure we are planning time for fun. Brene Brown identified “play” as just as essential to healthy functioning as rest.(1)
We sometimes have to be intentional to pursue recreation (Again, I am speaking to myself here. There is a reason I thought of this one last!). It can be hard to shut down the work schedule but we need it, and the people in our lives need it, too. This doesn’t mean an expensive trip to a theme park or a lavish vacation.
It could be as simple as a game night with the family, going for a walk just for fun, or going bowling (if you like bowling). It could be dancing in the kitchen while you are doing dishes.
These types of self-care may not really strike you as anything. You might be thinking, “That’s just…life.”
I may agree with you that the types of activities involved with these categories are the activities that comprise “just life,” but it is the intentionality that speaks to the self-care piece.
I’ll repeat my definition of self-care:
Self-care is intentionally prioritizing our holistic needs.
Thinking of all of these pieces together, deciding what is important within those categories, how you need to show up in your life and putting systems in place to give yourself the best shot at doing that…that is self-care.
Sometimes our best efforts at self-care will fall short. Life will get in the way.
But when we have a general self-care routine in place, it is easier to get back to it when that happens.
If you want some help getting this all together for yourself, please reach out. It could feel overwhelming to begin that work if you’ve never done it before, or if you are currently dealing with some kind of difficult situation. I am happy to provide you with some psychological self-care - and that piece can help you get the other pieces in place!
Reference
(1) Brown, B. (2010). The gifts of imperfection: Let go of who you think you’re supposed to be and embrace who you are. Hazelden Publishing.
Jennie Sheffe is a National Certified Counselor ™ who helps women find freedom from anxiety and peace in their chaos. She sees clients virtually in the state of Pennsylvania, or in her Carlisle, PA office. She offers Christian counseling and EMDR Therapy.
