Ways to Incorporate Mindfulness
Oh no, no, no, it's happening.
My worst fear.
Because [insert current circumstance here] is happening, of course that means [insert chain of catastrophes here].
Looking at it this way, it may seem a little silly. But when we are in the moment, feeling it, it's hard to be so logical about it. The thoughts happen so fast, and the body sensations that go with them make the danger feel so real.
Most of the time these body sensations are things you have felt before.
You went through something traumatic that made you feel exactly how you do right now. Your brain stored that sensation in a way that linked it to the accompanying emotion and negative thought you are having about yourself. It probably also made some connections to a network of circumstances that are similar in some way, to what you experienced. The similarity can be something as unsuspecting as the smell of whatever was cooking on the stove when it happened.
Anytime one of those things (even just the smell) pops up in your life, your brain activates the whole cluster.
The brain is not the bad guy here... it's just trying to protect you from going through that again.
We are quick to just keep going in that direction, automatically, because it feels real, it feels true, even if logically we know it's not.
I am trained in EMDR therapy, which works with getting at that root feeling and teaching your brain a new way to think about it. But while we work on getting there, mindfulness is a tool we use to interrupt those automatic thoughts.
Mindfulness is a way to bring yourself into the present moment by focusing on your body, your surroundings, what is happening in and around you right here, right now.
Most of the time, in the here and now, you are probably safe.
Of course there are situations where you are not safe, and true mindfulness may not feel super-helpful to you then. However, mindfulness in an unsafe situation can help you manage your fear so that you can assess your options to get to safety. It can help you stay in that fight or flight mode instead of freeze, so you can do something, but I am not ready to say mindfulness is always helpful.
For the sake of this blog post, I want to focus on those times that you are actually safe, you are just worried. Really worried.
By focusing on your five senses, tuning into your body, you can bring your brain out of the future doom and gloom it is predicting and into the present moment.
You can learn to feel your feelings, with curiosity.
Ways to Incorporate Mindfulness
Keep it simple.
This is for my perfectionists and people pleasers out there who will want to make sure they are doing it right. Not all of these tips will speak to you. Just pick the ones that do and start slowly.
Practice grounding.
I wrote a whole post about this, so I am not going to regurgitate that here.
I'll just say that grounding is a very effective way to use your 5 senses to bring you into the moment. This brings you out of your terrifying (imagined) future or out of the depressing rumination you may be doing about the past.
Pick an activity you do daily and do it mindfully.
This could be washing dishes. Taking a shower. Cooking. Taking a walk. Eating a piece of chocolate.
While you are doing that activity, think about what you can feel.
What textures are involved?
Do the things you touch have a temperature?
Notice what you see.
What colors do you see?
Do you see anything you didn't notice before?
Do you smell anything? Take a deep breath in through your nose to notice that smell.
What do you hear? Is it loud or quiet?
Do you taste anything?
Just notice, in extreme detail, every aspect of the experience.
Take 5 minutes and focus on your breathing.
I have included some breathing exercises in this blog post. Focusing on your breath really gives your brain something to do other than worry.
Meditate.
Many people will say, " I can't meditate because I just can't make myself think of...nothing." That is just one way to meditate, and probably not the most common way to do it.
Instead, think of something. Think of the quality you want to feel full of. If you want to feel peaceful, imagine a peaceful scene and think of the word "peace" as you identify what your 5 senses would feel if you were in that scene.
If you are a Christian, concentrate on a Bible verse that really speaks to you. (The Bible Study part of me would caution you to make sure you have read that verse in context so you are accurately rehearsing what it means and not what you just want to make it mean).
There are apps you can use for meditation, which can help direct your brain without you having to be creative about what to think about. Make sure any meditations you use align with your values, because this is a spiritual practice. The insight timer app has meditations from multiple faith traditions. The Abide app offers meditations from a Christian perspective.
Learn how to notice with curiosity.
When we notice how we are reacting we take a step out of the actual reaction.
This is super important because if we can step out of it, even just a little, we can realize that the reaction hasn't completely overcome us.
Notice what sensations you feel in your body.
Notice what it feels like to experience those sensations.
Name the emotion that goes with that sensation.
How much of me feels this way vs. How much of me feels a different way? (It can be powerful to recognize that not ALL of you feels a certain way).
What makes sense about my observations?
Identify your options.
This step moves a little away from mindfulness, but I wanted to include it because I can imagine skeptical readers thinking, "That's great, now what do I do with that information?"
It depends on what you notice when you are mindful.
If you notice that you are tensing your muscles, you can focus attention on relaxing them. I tend to clench my jaw, so when I catch myself doing that, I will completely relax my whole mouth.
Sometimes it is hard to identify which muscle group is having an issue. If you search within the insight timer app for "body scan" meditations will come up that help you focus attention on your muscle groups and relax them.
If emotions come up, you want to take some time to identify what they are telling you. A logical action step may emerge from that. Even if that action step is "I just need to feel this for a bit."
Maybe you want to separate the thoughts from the feelings. My FACETS exercise is great for this. Once you are not completely overcome by the sensation, you can see clearly what is going on. This exercise is actually a tool of mindfulness because it slows down the automatic reactions happening inside and helps you look at that jumbled mess with curiosity.
If you catch yourself being mean to yourself, you can take a self-compassion break. Notice what you are feeling, validate why you feel it, and remind yourself you are in good company with many others who have felt this way.
I am writing this post during the month of December, a time when we are usually too busy rushing around to be mindful. But what a time to practice mindfulness!
There are beautiful things to look at, wonderful smells, unique music to listen to, and plenty of moments you do not want to miss.
Now is a great time to work on building mindfulness into your everyday life.
As always, if you are ready to address some of the root issues that get in the way of mindfulness for you, I am here to help.
Jennie Sheffe is a National Certified Counselor ™ who helps women find freedom from anxiety and peace in their chaos. She sees clients virtually in the state of Pennsylvania, or in her Carlisle, PA office. She offers Christian counseling and EMDR Therapy.
